Two Day Fast

Today at work I heard about a fasting diet over the radio. Although we’re supposed to work in silence, I often use headphones to listen to the radio in defiance of this rule. For the past 2 years, I’ve embraced the uphill climb that is eating disorder recovery. In spite of eating next to nothing, I never became thin. I stayed average size if not slightly larger than average eating 1,000 calories a day at most and 300 or less at the least. My eating disorder only damaged my metabolism. I grew weak, constantly exhausted, and my hair began to fall out in chunks. My skin was dry and flaky even in the summer and the circles under my eyes became so dark that I looked like I had 2 black eyes most of the time.  My nails broke off in chunks and layers. In spite of this, I never became thin.

Lately I’ve been supremely dissatisfied with my weight. Someone took an unflattering photo of me in a pink t-shirt sitting in a lawn chair with bad posture and all I could think was how enormous I have become. Huge, blubbery, and gelatinous…disgusting. While I have gained weight so much so that I’m now overweight, I have regained much of my health. I wish this alone were enough to stop the deluge of negativity from my panicked mind.

Although part of my therapy is to never again go on a diet, I’m considering fasting 2 days a week. Two days at 500 calories each, and 5 days eating normally. Maybe fasting for 2 days will help my metabolism normalize again and stop packing on every last pound after years of starvation. Two days of starvation. Five days of eating normally. Five days to convince my body to stop this pack rat behavior that is making me so large and huge and disgusting.

 

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2 thoughts on “Two Day Fast

  1. Starving doesnt make you lose weight! Going on a fast for 2 days a week wont do anything but mess up your metabolism more.(Since Im going through surgery, Ive been having to take classes on nutrition and metabolism and stuff).

    I tried this for a while and it really really worked. I cut out ALL processed foods. If it didnt come from the ground or from a farm, I didn’t eat it. And I made sure to snack every 2 hours, on the DOT! Just snacking on carrots or fruit or whatever… I literally lost about 5 lbs a week doing that. Its not a *diet* per say… but just choosing to eat a lot healthier. Its the only thing Ive ever done that has worked. And Ive always struggled with weight and diets.

    I KNOW its much easier said than done, its hard to stick to. And I know dealing with an ED must make it that much harder. 😦
    Idk if my suggestion would work out for you or not but I hope its something that might be able to help you.

    🙂 I hope I didnt come off as rude or offensive in any way…

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