What a Week…

Everything went wrong at work this week. Because of the nature of my job, I can’t be any more specific.

I tried to confide in Jonathan, but Jonathan’s days are always worse no matter how bad my day has been.  If everything breaks at work, I’m running a low grade fever, my pain level is high, the dogs vomit everywhere, and I barely slept the night before , Jonathan’s  got it worse somehow.  I’m going to

My only set of sheets has an enormous hole. I really don’t have money to replace them and the hole is too large to patch.  So many items in the house have broken this week that I just can’t keep up with the repairs. I’m already behind on chores due to my weeks long struggle with back pain.

My best friend is having a miscarriage. She’s only 6 weeks along. The condom broke. She expressed amazement that I’ve endured the pain of two miscarriages. Miscarriages are painful, but it’s nothing compared to the crushing electric nerve pain I experience in my back.  I’m so sorry she’s going through such an awful experience alone. Her boyfriend didn’t know she was pregnant. She doesn’t plan to tell him.

How is it that nearly every woman except me can conceive after just one accident? I tried to conceive for 4yrs and became pregnant only once to miscarry 6 weeks later.  All these people with their children and families and ability to have children and families… It makes me miss what I can’t have.

I should stay up tonight and try to accomplish some things, but I just don’t have the energy. I don’t even have the energy to dye my hair tonight.

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