The Jonathan Letters: A very hangry person

Hanger: n. 1. Hunger-induced anger 2. Anger made worse by hunger. Jonathan suffers from hanger. Possibly thanger (tired, hungry, anger).

Last Wednesday I was looking forward to finally having a 4 day weekend. In my mind, 4 days of being out of the office seemed like a magical fairy tail with clouds and rainbows and such. Sadly this was not the case.

First I practically drug Jonathan to my grandmother’s for Thanksgiving lunch. My immediate family members are pretty large douche bags, but my extended family is normally low key. Last year was a disaster, but that was caused by my brother being dramatic about his

Then we drove to Jonathan’s family’s house where I was repeatedly poisoned by meat. I’m vegetarian and eating meet upsets my stomach. Who puts ham juice in apples? Seriously? Who does that??? And ham chunks in mashed potatoes???

Jonathan’s car died, as in “died for good” on the way home. I spent the weekend shopping for new-to-me car so Jonathan can drive my older car. He just paid off the car that died and cannot afford another. My generosity sparked an endless stream of complaining. What would he do if I wasn’t here to help him? Why is his life so hard? Why was his car such a waste of money? Why did it take the dealership so long to finance the car I bought? Complain. Complain. Complain.

The following day he was angry the dogs woke up at 7:30A. I often wake up around 5A on the weekdays so technically the dogs are sleeping in. This doesn’t suit Jonathan, tho. Then a whole section of town was blocked off due to a building fire and he didn’t know where to drive to get around the blocked roads. Then some other roads were blocked for a parade. Then some ancient bearded redneck winked at me in a gas station and Jonathan had an irritated complaining melt down.

My “4 day weekend” turned into “4 days of listening to Jonathan complain about everything all day”.  Yes, having your car break down is an irritating situation but, geez, does it have to ruin 4 whole days?

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