I just can’t make up my mind

Suffering from another episode of back pain. I’m so very sick of having arthritis. I can’t do even the most basic physical activity without suffering for days after. I took a muscle relaxer which helped with the pain, but made me feel tired a slightly high.

I managed to do a little laundry, but otherwise I’ve been stuck on the couch watching episode after episode of Law & Order: SVU. Each episode wraps up with a neat confession after a few key words from the detectives. Every case is neatly wrapped up with a trial at the end of each episode.

In a way I wish my life were neatly wrapped up at the end of the day. Instead, I’m suffering from a massive case of indecision. In a few short months, Jonathan and I will elope. I’ll sell my house and buy a house for us in the country so the kids can stay in the same school system. What I can’t figure out is what to do with my own life.

Should I focus on photography? Should I focus on a food blog? Should I focus on becoming becoming more knowledgable at my job since they’re “restructuring”? My job is definitely not my passion. My passion is photography. Maybe I should pursue a food blog because I wouldn’t have to carry as much gear given that I have arthritis?

I just can’t make up my mind.