As we packed books in boxes Luke (the 11yr old formerly known as “L”) looked up at me and asked, “When you marry daddy, that means I won’t have to see mommy anymore, right? That will make you my mom.”
“It doesn’t exactly work that way. Your mom is always your mom.”
“Oh…I wish you were my mom. I don’t want to see mommy any more.”
Jonathan had just dropped Luke off at my house on his way to work. Luke was supposed to go with his mother for her 24hrs of weekly custody, however he refused to go. First he locked himself in the car, then he bolted from the car running off into traffic when Jonathan opened the door. The frustrated Jonathan had to finish a tiling job on a tight timeline so he dropped off a very angry, red faced, Luke.
The above question from Luke was the first crack in his silent streak. We talked about a lot of things. His behavior. His mother. How his mom has been slapping, spanking, and constantly yelling at him but not at his younger brother Oliver. I explained that telling people about what happens at his mother’s is acceptable behavior. Locking himself in the car and running off is unacceptable behavior that will lead to being grounded.
“I wish I could never see mommy again.”
“I understand, Luke. It really stinks to spend time with a person who yells at you and hits you. The problem is that the court system won’t let you just stop seeing your mother. We have to come up with some kind of compromise so you, daddy, and I don’t get in trouble with the court. I’ll do everything I can to make this better, but you have to do your best to cooperate with us.”
I really do feel for Luke. His mother reminds me of my mother and that churns my gut.