Divorce Shaming, Slut Shaming, and Fat Shaming. Oh My!

“I can’t believe she remarried already. I mean, she just got divorced!”

“What’s going to happen with this one when she decides she wants to start sleeping around again.”

“I can’t believe she’s let herself go like that. She’s so fat now! How did a guy like [Jonathan] decide to marry such a cow.”

Divorce shaming. Slut shaming. Fat shaming.

Yes, people have said these things about me since the wedding. I typically roll my eyes as so much is second hand gossip. I reply to the rest with sarcastic commentary.

Hearing insults like this used to upset me. I’d wonder what I could have done to bring the negative remarks upon myself. Surely I must have done something to deserve those sentences; something to make the statement true. I’d torture myself with a diet – and by “diet” I mean a starvation diet because I was already restricting calories. Sometimes I’d cry. I’d repeat the insult over and over and over to myself because the only way to every stop being horrible was to remind myself how horrible I really was.

Today, I roll my eyes and reply with sarcasm although I’m “fatter” than ever. A lot has changed in the past 5yrs.

I never chose to get divorced. My exhusband cheated on me and left me for someone else. I never chose to sleep around, but I chose not to pursue bad relationships even if that meant breaking up. I never chose to be fat. I don’t sit in a closet eating potato chips – I got an autoimmune disease, took meds, and gained weight. I did chose to stop torturing myself with the unenlightened opinions of douche bags because I realized that their insults say more about who they are as a person than who I have ever been.

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2 thoughts on “Divorce Shaming, Slut Shaming, and Fat Shaming. Oh My!

  1. I am sorry you had to go through that. I had a friend who divorced his wife. She was bi-polar, and refused to take her medication–this made her impossible to live with. I knew our mutual friends would reject him, so I encouraged him to socialize elsewhere even though we remained close friends. I knew our ‘friends’ would have a love opinion of him, so I wanted to protect him.

    I guess in time you are able to take these critics to the law of perspective. The accusers get too much attention and they are the real losers. All humans a flawed to some degree. I sure wish as an 80 year old man I could do some things over. lol

    1. I wonder if these people who spend so much time being foolish, hard hearted, and mean ever realize how much time they’ve wasted. I’m glad your friend was able to find another group of friends who support him.

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