Luke Has Issues

How am I?

Nearly 2 weeks after getting cortisone shots in the back and I’m doing much better. I wish I could say I’m pain free, but that would be dishonest. I am in much less pain. Also, the rheumatologist prescribed refillable muscle relaxers. Although I don’t take muscle relaxers daily due to the side effects, I do find them helpful when I need to accomplish something other than lying in bed.  For instance, today I needed assemble a dog house for my giant lab. Without muscle relaxers, I would have been in too much pain to use tools and crawl around on my hands and knees putting the pieces together.

Overall, my habits have improved greatly since moving in with Jonathan and the kids. Since we live 30min from the nearest restaurant or grocery store, I pack my lunch every day, grocery shop for the week every weekend, and make dinner every evening. I wake up at 6A without hitting snooze 10 times because I’m responsible for getting the kids on the bus in the morning. Regularly packing my lunchbox and cooking meals at home have helped my eating habits tremendously. Although I was mostly in recovery from an eating disorder, I had a tendency not to eat or to binge when I lived alone.


Luke Has Issues

Luke (12), started counseling this week. His anxiety is so severe that he cannot make even the most basic decisions such as what to eat for dinner or if he prefers to wear the black pair of pants vs. the gray pair.

He also has a tendency to rage quit everything. For instance he decided to put together the dog house for my 90lb dog. He took everything out of the box and spent all of 10 minutes trying to assemble it. He didn’t look at the instructions or the parts, but tried to slam the parts together out of order without tools. After the 10 minutes, Luke was unreasonable frustrated and threw the parts of the doghouse into the yard insisting that the parts didn’t go together and there was no way to assemble the house. Then he went inside.

This isn’t the first time I’ve had to clean up Luke’s mess. Nearly every project Luke attempts is met with immediate frustration. It’s exhausting. Every time Luke quits a project or doesn’t feel like behaving, he bellows that he has anger issues. “Anger issues” are his excuse for not following through on any (and every) project. He has no concept of what it means to work through a feeling – acknowledge the feeling and keep going – he just leaves a huge mess wherever he goes.

Hopefully counseling will help him handle his anxiety and “anger issues” (read: rage quit issues) more appropriately. Hopefully.


3 thoughts on “Luke Has Issues

  1. It seems like you are doing better. I had some kind of shots in my back about 5 years ago which made the pain bearable.

    I guess Luke will need counseling. I had professional counseling for the first time when I was 40 and it helped a lot. The counsel dug things out of my memory that I had forgotten, but as she said, my mom’s tapes were still playing in my head. Her odd abuse had affected more than I thought not to mention the verbal and emotional abuse later. She said like too many victims of some kinds of mistreatment, the sadistic thing done to me in grade school had also affected me in ways that I did not realize.

    I hope Luke gets the same kind of benefit from counseling.

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