Less Than

The weekend was excellent. Jonathan, Luke, Oliver and I had all sorts of adventures. We drove to the city and ate dinner together. Even though I had to work 3rd shift on Friday night, the weekend was still awesome.

Today, however, is the type of day that wallows in it’s own filth then hangs around like a bad taste in your mouth. Nothing has gone terribly wrong today, but nothing has gone well either.

The morning started with a flat tire. It was the kind of flat tire that slowly deflates so I was able to refill the tire enough to drive to a repair shop. I had to walk a mile from the repair shop to work with a swollen, hurting left foot. (Arthritis) A coworker gave me a ride to the repair shop at the end of the day which was nice. A huge bold was removed from the tire and the hole was patched.

Work was mediocre. Nothing awful happened, but nothing remarkable happened either. I ate a donut which didn’t taste very good. I tried to get a diet Mountain Dew from the vending machine, but the vending machine was broken.

After I got home things were going well…until I said something Jonathan didn’t like. He got up from the table, slammed his food into the trash, and stomped downstairs. Jonathan isn’t usually a terrible grouch. However Jonathan becomes a grouch when he has a bout of insomnia. The smallest things set him off and send him slamming and stomping through the house like a tall 2yr old having a temper tantrum.

Today was just one “ugh” inspiring event after another and it’s left me feeling in a funk. The kind of funk where you start to question your life’s purpose or life’s work. The kind of funk where you compare yourself to others (who didn’t grow up with abuse and poverty/ don’t have chronic illnesses) and you feel “less than”. I’m feeling very “less than” tonight.