Descent into Sickness

The relative wellness I’ve enjoyed for the past month has come to an end. I don’t know if long hours and lack of sleep are the cause or if it’s just flare time with no cause. The pain in my hands, back, legs, and shoulders has returned. I’m very tired, but not quite exhausted. Today I had a headache so severe I couldn’t get out of bed for hours, let alone make it to the birthday party I promised to attend. My descent into sickness is disheartening.

Today the temperature is 95F (35C) and the air conditioning is still broken. Jonathan and I have ordered parts and attempted to fix the AC, but haven’t been successful. We don’t have hundreds of spare dollars to spend on something that isn’t an absolute necessity. It is very likely that we’ll be without AC for the summer as temperatures climb into the 100s. Humidity is also a huge problem in the summer. On a normal summer day humidity averages between 70-90% making the heat all the more suffocating.

It is possible that feeling completely sick and awful is due, in part, to trying to make it through such hot temperatures doing something other than lying in bed. While I do feel physically miserable, I also feel like accomplishing something other than lying in bed. I suppose this is the catch 22 of the chronically ill person. We don’t lie in bed because we have nothing better to do with our lives or because we somehow find it fun – we do it because we have no other choice.

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