Horrible Day: Jonathan’s Tirade

The horrible day was 3 days ago now.

Here is the main reason for the horrible day:

Luke went to see the doctor (PCP) about obtaining some anxiety medicine based on the results of Luke’s learning assessment. Unfortunately, the PCP didn’t feel comfortable prescribing psychiatric meds to Luke since Luke is 12, and has both ADD and severe anxiety disorder. The PCP referred us to a child psychiatrist instead so Luke could be carefully monitored for side effects.

As soon as the PCP issued the referral, Jonathan went off. He shouted at that PCP for what felt like half an hour, but was probably more like 10 minutes. I don’t remember every detail of Jonathan’s tirade, but he said everything was “bullshit” several times along with “you people”, and “WE’RE DONE!!!” which he said repeatedly. To summarize the tirade, Jonathan thinks that Luke is being treated like a pawn, not a person, no one is willing to help Luke, and everyone is just after the insurance money. I tried to interrupt his tirade to explain that we haven’t been doing “nothing” for a year. I kept my voice calm and even, but assertively disagreed with Jonathan’s point. This year we tried counseling which only helped a little, we identified some problems, we had a learning assessment, we were obtaining the insurance-required referral to get meds for Luke – but Jonathan just kept shouting.

Luke hung his head and began to quietly cry. Oliver looked at Jonathan in quiet shock. The PCP looked at me with wide eyed expectation. What I going to cry? Was I going to yell?

I calmly asked Jonathan if he was leaving and he and the kids left. I talked to the PCP, her eyes now welling up with tears, about how Jonathan is struggling and to please send Luke’s psychiatric referral directly to me. The PCP hugged me and told me she was sorry. Sorry for what? That my husband chose to behave poorly?

Don’t feel sorry for me. Feel sorry for Luke who thinks Jonathan’s shouting tantrum is his fault. Don’t feel sorry for me. Wish me patience so I don’t slap Jonathan upside the head for behaving like an asshole to the only doctor who believed I was sick FOR YEARS before finally getting diagnosed with RA.

I wish this were the only incident that made the horrible day horrible; unfortunately it wasn’t.

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