Math Tears and Suicide Swords

Well…I was going to write about my new fitness/sleep/activity tracking Jawbone UP, but that is just not in the cards for tonight.

I’ve worked an irregular schedule and I only slept 3hrs last night. I took a nap when I got home because I might be called into work tonight. While I was napping, Luke and Oliver knocked on the bedroom door. I tried to ignore them since Jonathan knew I was sleeping, but they woke me up 3 times.

Neither Luke nor Oliver did their homework or chore after they had been home more than 3hrs so I didn’t grant internet access. For three weeks, I’ve explained that chores and homework need to be done between 4-6P to get internet at 6P. And, for three weeks, neither child has done their homework and chore without being reminded incessantly. Yet, Luke and Oliver were mystified when the internet wasn’t available at 6P and, rather than asking Jonathan WHY the internet wasn’t available, decided to wake me up…3x… to “fix” the internet.

Fast forward to dinner. Oliver brings me his math homework in tears. He’s learning order of operation and is confused if multiplication or division comes first so he has two possible answers – both wrong. Hours before, Oliver asked Jonathan for homework help, but I wasn’t aware this had happened. I started explaining order of operations to Oliver and Jonathan comes upstairs shouting because Oliver saved his homework after Jonathan checked it originally and was asking me to re-check it in the middle of cooking dinner, hours after Jonathan first checked the homework.

At bedtime, Luke started putting the sheets on his bed, which he should have done much earlier in the evening. Luke got frustrated after trying to stretch the short side of the sheet across the long side of the bed and asked for a gun to kill himself. Instead of ignoring Luke, I took his suicide threat seriously. Jonathan got irritated because he thought Luke was being hyperbolic and that, by discussing it, I made the situation worse. Luke admitted he considered killing himself with the sword in his bedroom so I took the sword.

I try to handle Luke’s suicide threats calmly and take his threats seriously. Sometimes I wonder if Luke is suicidal or if he’s using suicide threats to manipulate the situation. Whatever Luke’s motivation, I feel ignoring the suicide threats sends the wrong message.  Some days, I don’t know what to do. Some days, Jonathan doesn’t know what to do so he shouts out of frustration. Since I don’t shout, I guess writing about my problems anonymously on the internet is my coping mechanism.

5 thoughts on “Math Tears and Suicide Swords

  1. All moms will have their patience tried to the limit. I am sorry you are going through this. It is very tough.

  2. Wow, I hope he can either get to a better place or learn not to use threat to manipulate a frustrating situation.

    1. We’re working on it and going to therapy, etc. It’s just difficult to deal with as a parent because we can’t tell if he’s being manipulative or if he really wants to die. There’s a 50/50 chance of either.

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