The Lying Best Friend



This morning my best friend Lea called. We usually talk in the morning since she works nights and I work days. She confessed to me that she’s been lying to me for years and leading a double life. While pretending to be in a monogamous relationship with her boyfriend of 10+yrs, she was sleeping with hundreds of men. Sometimes 3-5 different men in the same day. She now says she’s a sex addict and she is going into a treatment program. She left her boyfriend almost a month ago and moved to another city.

That’s a lot to take in.

This isn’t the first time she’s lied about something significant either. Almost 10yrs ago, I caught her in a string of lies. She lied about moving to another city with her friend who had rented an apartment in preparation for their move. (She never planned to move and never told the friend). She was doing drugs on a regular basis and lied about that as well. She lied about a few other minor things too; the icing on the lie-cake. One night she called me sobbing and admitted her lies to me one after another. I comforted her and forgave her because I thought that’s what best friends do. I thought she gave up lying, at least about significant things. We all tell little white lies out of kindness. But I thought she gave up lying.

As it turns out, she never gave up lying. She’s been lying all along about nearly every aspect of her life. I’m hurt that she feels she can’t trust me when I’ve trusted her for so long, but I also feel like I can never believe anything she tells me again. I feel like I can never trust her again. It breaks my heart.

Fool me once? Shame on you. Fool me twice? Shame on me. Shame shame on me.