I took a break from writing about my life. I wish that the break gave me perspective or some insight. It gave me neither.
Things have gotten worse. Mostly Luke’s behavior has gotten worse. Luke is more defiant, more belligerent, and has become verbally abusive. When I speak to Luke, he yells at me. When I ask him not to yell, he screams obscenities at me.
I found some new jeans, tags still attached, in Luke’s size at a thrift store. After all, school starts in early August here and Luke doesn’t like to wear shorts to school. I washed and folded the jeans and put them on Luke’s bed. Luke saw the jeans and threw them into the hallway.
“Why would you buy jeans for me?! Are you fucking stupid or something? It’s SUMMER. People don’t wear jeans in the summer. What am I supposed to do with this shit?!?”, Luke shouted at me from his room.
“I’m sorry that buying new jeans for you in your size upset you, Luke.”, I replied.
I’ve learned to be careful with my replies. If I react to Luke’s verbal assaults in any way other than utter pleasantness, Jonathan rushes to scene to defend Luke.
“Blablabla. There she goes again.“, Luke mutters to himself just loud enough for me to hear, “always trying to start a fight with her bullshit.”
Disgusted with Luke’s behavior, I retreat to my bedroom for some peace and quiet. I’ve spent a lot of time in my bedroom lately. I don’t care to subject myself to verbal abuse, especially not from a teenager. I have no desire to listen to Jonathan tell me I’m not giving Luke enough space, or being dramatic, or overreacting, or being ridiculous, or some other negative description insinuating I cause Luke to behave negatively toward me.
My break from writing about my life really gave me no break at all.