Beach Ball Butts

I was sitting at the tiny table in the back of the restaurant when the most interesting looking customers walked in. Two very tall African American women in brightly colored maxi dresses loudly sashayed to the counter. They were immaculately with hair extensions, flawless skin, and acrylic nails with neon manicures. The women smelled of coconut and continued wearing their sunglasses in spite of the restaurants relatively dim light.

Why do people wear their sunglasses indoors? This always strikes me as odd.

Wearing sunglasses indoors wasn’t the only distinctive trait these women possessed; both women had absolutely enormous bottoms. I have never seen two women with such a body type. Both were maybe a size 16/18 everywhere else but looked as though they had two mid-sized beach balls under their dresses. Not softballs, basket balls, or volley balls, BEACH BALLS.

Everyone else in line began to stare. I tried not to stare as well, but both women had taken an interest in me. Each time I looked up, I found them looking in my direction which was awkward to say the least since the contents of my sandwich continued to inelegantly flop out of the backside with each bite.

The older of the two women seemed to struggle to walk. I wonder how it must feel to carry that much weight on one’s rear end. I imagine it would tire one’s hips over time.

How fascinating these women were with their double beach ball sized rear ends.